Writing Tips from my April 2019 reviews #writingtips
Meredith Rankin
Bonus Tips for Writers from this month’s reviewed books.
I used to include these bonus tips at the end of each review, but I noticed that it often made my reviews quite long. Instead, I’ll share the writer tips from my new reviews every other Wednesday. If these are at all helpful for you, please share with your other writer friends!
1. Use more than one physical sense to create your setting. The fewer words, the better.
When Harper and Ash visit the mortuary of the hospital, Nickson writes,
They both knew the place too well, footsteps echoing off the walls as they walked, the grim, harsh stink of carbolic catching at the back of their throats” (chapter 18).
Notice how Nickson evokes the sense of smell (“grim, harsh stink”), taste (“back of their throats”), and sound (“footsteps echoing off the walls”). I don’t need much more than this to feel like I’m in that hospital, dogging their footsteps, tagging along on their reluctant errand to the morgue and bracing myself for the horror of a dead body. That entire sentence is 28 words long. No need to go off on a multi-paragraph description cataloging every smell, taste, feeling, etc. This is a particular weakness of mine, so I’m preaching to myself!
In Lives Laid Away, Detroit is almost a character itself. Mexicantown is populated by immigrants (some legal, some not). Even the legal ones fear ICE, as officers demand identification or harass Snow’s neighbors. (One is a natural-born citizen!)
“If you live off of the 1-76 South Highway like me, you’re essentially breathing diesel exhaust through a wet wool blanket” (pg. 29).
Notice how this gives the impression that this place is hot and sticky (much like some characters’ tempers), cast aside by others (“diesel exhaust”), and smothered by fear and despair (breathing through the blanket). Details like this are descriptive, yes, but it’s an environment that shapes the people in it. How people react in this environment propels the story forward.
1. Use the delivery of facts to convey other story-information.
Frederick Forsythe does this when the Tracker talks to a cyberace–not the teenager–about the Preacher’s website.
“He transmits on a website called Hejira. That was the flight of Muhammad from Mecca to Medina.” The Tracker kept a straight face. He did not need explanations about Islam. (The Kill List, pg. 41)
While there’s nothing terribly special about the information itself, I found Forsythe’s technique interesting. Think about all that he’s combining in a few meager sentences:
Why doesn’t the Tracker need the explanations? Because he’s studied and researched it himself even before the Preacher’s appearance. (We’ve previously been shown his empathy and interest in Arab culture.) So there’s more characterization of the Tracker, a bit of background info on Islam, and a fact about the Preacher’s cyberspace “home” –all in three sentences. Not bad. Wish I could manage that!
2. Use contrast to create setting, atmosphere, and tension.
Smith uses contrasts, particularly in descriptions, to create atmosphere. It helps create a vivid setting, but it also increases the tension. For example, Kulski tells Jay that his family had waited 7 years for their two room home, and he and his wife had to sneak off to be romantic together because they lived with two small kids and her parents in this place. (Talk about awkward!) Then he points out Director Husarska’s much nicer apartment. Those in the Communist Party lived here, he tells Jay.
There are plenty of other examples, but that was one that stood out to me, as it deftly shows both historical and current setting, and reveals a divide between Husarska and Kulski, one that holds the potential for conflict.
1. Get the major conflict started as soon as possible.
If they could have seen Azza beyond the hijab–if they had taken in the emotional contours of her face–those formidable women who comprised the grey-haired staff (they preferred to think of themselves as mature) would have glimpsed the fear in their most unexpected visitor’s eyes . . . (chapter one)
The opening does multiple things. It shows Azza’s determination tinged with fear. It shows the quandary of what to do with a student who has been recruited with lies. It shows how people in this small town react to the presence of a Muslim. Also, it sets up the conflict between cultures, misinterpretation of cultures, and the blindness of the Americans to Azza as a person that will continue throughout the novel. Womack manages to keep his light-hearted tone even while observing this sad event, too.
2. Dual timelines can work, but only if they keep the story moving forward.
This is a dual timeline that works. The present day story is told from Noah and Gracie’s POVs, the past told from Abe and Jackie’s POVs. (All are in 1st person narration.) The flashbacks keep the story moving forward because the scenes are relevant to what is happening in the present day. There are links between the two. One example (no spoilers):
When a black duffel bag shows up in one of the flashbacks, we immediately grasp the significance because a black duffel bag has shown up in a recent present day chapter. Like Noah and Gracie, we’ve wondered where it came from. Now we know. But its appearance also raises important questions about the link between that past event to the bag’s present location and owner, neither of which are at that past event.
3. Use atmosphere, not just plot, to move the story forward
It would be a major spoiler if I shared the exact quote. So I’ll avoid that!
There’s a big dramatic moment late in the book. It’s violent. Hewson uses short sentences to give the facts in a bare-bones manner. But instead of ending the chapter there, which is what many suspense/thriller writers would have done, Hewson follows with a gorgeous, evocative sentence.
The description turns our eyes away from the violence. Instead, we follow an eagle soaring upward and feel the hot breeze, smell the bergamot orchards, and see a bird’s eye view of the beautiful coastal setting. The beauty is juxtaposed with the bloodshed, and that contrast heightens the tragic atmosphere for me.
It moves the story forward by bringing us away from this intimate tragedy and making the jump forward, to a different setting and the next phase of the story, feel natural, not jarring.
Writers, did you find these helpful? If so, please share this post with your writer friends! Chime in with things you’ve learned about writing recently. I love comments and always respond. (Unless you’re spam. Then you get deleted. But for real people, I respond!)
